It takes confidence for a guy to be able to pick up girl… and it’s equally important for a woman to know what she’s doing in bed. Many of the points in this article are indicators of confidence — or how to help her become stronger between-the-sheets if she does them confidently. But it is also key to know that many women, especially today, derive their general self-confidence from their brains rather than any sexual abilities.
Sometimes, based on certain observations, you can just sense that a person will be good in bed, or more accurately, good in bed with you. You may not always be right, but like so many techniques, understanding body language and reading signals closely will help you at least improve your odds of getting what you’re both looking for — a good time.
Below you’ll find a few things you should look out for. Rate yourself and see where you ‘fit in’ <- pun intended
1. You can dance.
This one can go both ways. Even if you’re not, the way your partner moves their body vertically may be an indicator of their horizontal skills. I don’t mean that those who are incapable of getting past the first round of So You Think You Can Dance are destined to remain sexless virgins. We don’t all have to Have Moves Like Jagger when it comes to moving our feet along a dance floor. However, if you are the person who is always glued against the wall while everyone else is having fun and being silly, I don’t know how you would do if trying the horizontal mambo. I don’t have such high hopes for them, though. Some very good indicators: a yoga instructor, a ballerina, a contortionist… basically, these allow for more possibilities in bed.
2. Your sexuality isn’t easily threatened.
If you more often than not find yourself referring to things as ‘gay’ or ‘girly’ or ‘lesbo’ or ‘pussy,’ and have a laundry list of things you will not do, wear, say, or try because they threaten your ability to be yourself in your own gender and sexuality — chill, chill, chill, chill. If you are OK with who you are and have no doubts about what you like (and are not upset by those around you not liking the same thing) there is no reason to get so angry at the thought of having to use a pink pen when you are CLEARLY a MAN with a PENIS. If you’re not bothered by these things, it’s a pretty good sign that you don’t feel you have much to prove.
3. Your exes seem vaguely hung up.
We all know what this is. The relationship is long over — and you’re really happy about moving on to something new — but let’s be honest, you kind of miss what you had happening between the sheets with your ex. But on the other hand, if she’s non-discriminating, it might mean she doesn’t put that high a priority on having good sex, which might in turn indicate that she doesn’t try to learn much from her experience — and that isn’t so good. Sure, easy women get more practice opportunities, but remember that it’s not her easiness that makes her good in bed. Experience is very important to gaining sexual skills, it isn’t everything.
4. You are good at listening.
Loosely speaking, I’ve noticed a bit of an backwards connection between chattiness and bedroom skills. That is, the person might be more used to impressing someone with their words rather than their actions, or may even be trying to make up for one with the other. Now just imagine that whole monologue consisted of ‘This is what I want you to do to my wiener!’ and you’re golden. But on the other hand, quieter women, are often animals in the sack. They prefer to express themselves non-verbally… although they get vocal when you hit the right spot.
5. You are comfortable with the word “No.”
You know that “no” is a word with real, important meaning, one that you should listen to unequivocally and respect without exception. (Unless you are into something kinky and involves a pre-established safe word.) If you are even slightly unconvinced by the word “no” in all its perfectly-clear-unless-you’re-being-willfully-stubborn, you are never going to amount to anything in bed.
6. You sense what touches are comfortable.
You must master a certain amount of subtleness in order to get from First base to rounding the bases for that Home Run. Then, it’s up to you to find out if she’s sexual, it just involves being able to read the subtle social cues that tell you when another person is digging your attention, and when they are quietly looking for the ‘eject’ button that will allow them to escape. As long as you are not the kind of person who generally makes people feel too uncomfortable, and the two of you have good physical and pheromonal chemistry, it help smooth things over for your more amorous touching later in the evening. As always, the proof is in the pudding — or in this case, the pushing.
If she initiates physical contact or reciprocates yours, she understands that the earlier you start the sexual vibe, the more time tension has to build, and the bigger the eventual release. She may touch your shoulder, caress your arm and/or hold your hand when she leans in close and talks to you.
7. You’re a people-pleaser.
If you love making people happy, and pleasing them is one of the most efficient ways to bring you a deep sense of pleasure yourself, and you don’t mind not getting anything in return— you should do one of two things: Go into customer service, or open up a Glory Hole at a truck stop. This is a two way street, think about her feeling good and she will in turn make you feel good.
8. You don’t feel the need to constantly brag.
It’s never a good thing when your partner feels the need to talk about how good they are at performing oral, and the degree of actual skill. I want you to take a look back at your social media pages and let me know as to how many times you’ve just ‘happened’ to humblebrag about how much you made the person who just passed through your bed happier than they’ve ever been before. I have found that if a person is good in bed, they do not brag about their past sexcapades. Today with social media, it’s too easy to say things online, and guys who are good in bed do not brag. However, those guys who are not so good in bed have a tendency to brag (or wish?). If they have not bragged about any of their past conquests chances are they may have had their share of bragworthy partners in the past 😉
